It all started at the very beginning when they first met. Love at first sight. Eyes locking deeply into one another's souls. or so she thought it was love. He started the relationship with love, & softness. It ended in months of brutal physical & emotional abuse. She is very lucky to be alive.
Be aware that there are people out there that speak of peace, love, prophetic insights as charismatic seducers. These types of men study the 'art of seduction, study people and in particular study their female prey in order to gain more power. These men are in such need of power that they infiltrate the woman's soul. In reality these men are seeking power to manipulate , control & abuse their woman. This is not love. This is my friend's story.
The man she met preyed on her need to be loved: physically, emotionally and spiritually. And, maybe he had that need too. However, he took advantage of her needs. She let that man into her soul. She opened her heart believing he was pure. She was pure & he knew it. He used her purity to advance his need for power & control.
This type of man was like an 'emotional ' chameleon . He wore whatever emotion to protect his own weakness and to win over the woman in his sights. Her lover used the same disguise to sneak up on his next prey. He was not even finished or completely out of his last relationship when he hooked onto my friend. He was just moving on to his next victim before he left his last one. By the way she told me one of his favourite sayings is "Practice makes Perfect".
At the beginning, he took the time to invest with my friend as a partner in love. Later this chameleon would study her and the details about her psychological makeup. What were her needs? What were her weaknesses? What made her tick? What made her sink? Once he found my friend's 'weak point' he readily lodged his emotional/sexual/mental/financial wedge in there to try to crack her open and break her.
Whatever type of wedge existed there was an area of weakness; a crack in her armour. My friend's guard was down. Her need(s) felt "filled". Her once empty 'crack' or void in her life was filled by her lover. She missed his 'read flags' &/or lived in denial. In reality, the spot that was weak is being filled in to make it worse. It is hard to tell to where to draw the line being fulfilled or cracking of the armour and the weakness/need is getting greater and you are becoming more needy. Creating a worse need instead of being a need fulfilled. It was too late too fast. The abuse began. The abuse was calculated & intentional. He had her where he wanted her. She was ashamed & afraid. She kept this horrible fearful secret to herself in shame. The fine line of love-abuse was set.
After almost 1 year of abuse, my friend called '911' or knew she would not live to see another day. He was arrested. They are no longer together. The abuse has ended.
Let's speak up. Let's speak out! I can not stand that. What can we do about this? What can we do for woman in particular to help arm women to protect themselves against these 'wolves in sheep's clothing'?